Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
