I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
