There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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