We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
