Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
