I'm eating all of the evidence.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
