Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
