It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
