It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
ok first of all what the fuck
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
