apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
