I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
