He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Porn is love you can see.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i love accidental penises.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
