we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
