shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
