I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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