Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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