1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
