Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
