Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
