Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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