i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
