So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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