so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
