So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
