omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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