Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
