One girl and one boy is just not enough.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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