I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
