In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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