operation harelip BJ is a go
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
