the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
