I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
