It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
