Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
