Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
