No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
