i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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