So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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