I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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