dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
