Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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