What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
