why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
