Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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