I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My pussy is not your playground.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
