Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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