I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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