you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
