I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
