My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
